Friday, October 08, 2004

Don't Let the Smooth Taste Fool You ...

Dateline -- My Desk at Work
Headline -- 2% of Women polled consider themselves 'Beautiful'

I guess as I strapped on the battle-armor during my young and single days, I never took time to realize how true this fact could have been. 2%????? Most may sit in BUS 310 and think, out of the hundred chicks in the room there are more than 2 beautiful women. That may be true, but go down to the DMV.

The operative devices at work hear are 1) guys are not a barometer of what a woman deems beautiful, and 2) women have the luxury of several different categories of attractiveness as far as guys are concerned.

It is a fact - A guy cares less about what a girl has going on or even what type of person she may be. It's all initially about how she looks and sometimes it's more about one feature or another. Women on the other hand care less about how a man looks. A chick will be more inclined to moisture watching how a guy interacts with others or his stature. If you are a boss - you get head. If you are a peon; Nathan.

More dynamics at play - Given the two previous points (The 2% and what we look for), there is an interesting dynamic at play. At least 80% percent of women act like others should view them as 'beautiful'. Halle Berry said it best, 'It's not easy being beautiful'. So when you look at the chick that you think is out of your league, she may not think that she is half as beautiful as you think. So word of encouragement to you dweebs out there, 'Shoot your wad, young players. You never know what could happen. You may run into that girl whose beauty is breathtaking, but her self esteem is so low you need underwater gear to find it (Almost any female in the Golden Triangle). Now on the other hand, she may cuss (sic) you or get a restraining order, but there are more out there.

True enough, beauty is subjective. Nothing truer can be said. And it is also a fact that the longer I have been drinking and the more I have struck out, the more beautiful some girls may get. So Mfufu Akinballa, is over in the corner sending drinks to my table in hopes that I will keep drinking and she can close the deal. But by the same token, I have struck out several times so I might slam a couple tequila boilermakers to hasten the process and me and Mfufu can make our escape to the parking lot for a hot steamy car date.

If anyone has ever seen me with my family, it is not hard to realize which one of us really don't belong in the group. I am the understudy in a house of stars, but that just reminds me that the penny that was struck by lightning, the horseshoe, and the dead rabbit I carry in my pocket paid off.

So in closing, if you are out there and got more booty than you can shake a stick at. Then simply consider the mental state of those chicks on your team and if they truthfully consider themselves in the 2 percent.