Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Friday, May 26, 2006

For the Love of a Good Cape ...

I just checked the latest 'X-Men' pic in the afternoon (unbeknownst to my boss). Anybody that has ever read anything that I have ever written know that I am struck by the oddest isht that may occur everyday. While peepin' X-Men: The Last Stand, I realized that I need a cape.

Now not everyone that is endowed with certain powers can pull off the cape. If your powers are limited to feats of strengths that don't equate in being airborne or great mental skill that is limited where levitation is concerned, there is no need for a cape. If you can transcend space and time, fly, or leap and soar for extended periods of time, you need and cape. Unless you have wings which makes the whole point redundant.

How cool is it to have a cape?

I never understood why Batman has a cape. Can't fly, levitate, nor does he have tremendous leaping skills. Maybe it is meant to hide those secret gadgets. I don't know. My thought is that he thought they it was particularly stylish, but I am a more functional guy.

Dracula wore a cape even though when he chose to fly he turned into an entirely different form all together. I think that is a major abuse of cape.

I know that the cape is really not aiding anyone in their ability to fly, if you can fly, you are pretty much grand-fathered in. But if you can not fly or you are flying in a form other than your presented form, major CAPE ABUSE.

As a super-hero, don't get caught up in trying to garner style points. The last thing that I need to worry about as I look for someone to save me is a primping hero.It's bad enough that Superman has that hairdo and the full body tights are disturbing, but if I am in a free fall out of a building in Metropolis, beggars can't be choosers.

Shape-shifters shouldn't wear capes, nor should rocket propulsion guys like Tony Starks (aka Ironman).

And how ridiculous would it be if Captain America chose to rock the cape.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

When Factual Report Collide w/ Everyday Life ....

I ran across a CNN Technology report today:

Official: Africans pay $1,800 for 1GB of data


You can read it for yourself, but apparently the Minister for Information and Communication Mutahi Kagwe stated that the cost of consumer internet service in Africa is around $1800 compared to the roughly estimated $20 in the US and other parts of the world. This is apparently cause by the lack of cable infrastructure in Africa and the hassle of routing services to all parts of the world in order to get a signal.

I fell for my African brethren, because I would have a hard time dealing with the forays of today's world without the ability to connect to the world wide web. I would have trouble finding out what is hot in the streets. I would have to go back to placing my sports bets through a bookie and avoid him when I lose big. And god forbid that I would have to lift a phone to communicate with the outside world. And yes, I would have to renew my porn subscriptions.

Minister for Information and Communication Mutahi Kagwe delivered his report on the deprived state of his country by way of an interpreter and this is where this whole thing is sitting worse than those three day old Chinese pea pods that my wife warned me not to eat. Anytime a story is filtered through an interpreter there is too much gray area for mis-interpretation or deception. I believe what we are facing here is a prime example of how rampant dishonesty is by people of certain positions in under developed nations. I can not fault Kagwe because I think that he is simply unaware, but the interpreter Bitange Ndemo may be in a plot to pull some wool.

How can it be so expensive for Africans to use the internet? How is it that they don't have the money to build the infrastructure for cheaper web services? Just yesterday, I received an email from a gentleman that was the comptroller for a courier service there that was holding $15M cash that was supposed to be delivered to a long lost relative of mine. All he needed is my personal financial information to have the funds released to me. Now I just would not feel right accepting that cash knowing that there are people in that country that would have to pay almost 2G's to download porn. Plus, if it is so hard to get the internet, then how did this guy find me?

Something is just not right .....

Thursday, March 23, 2006

I often try to avoid being the nemesis in someone else's reality. Whoever and however a person has formed their reality, so be it. If you like it, I love it. And as long as it does not interfere with my reality or assaults my sensibilities, I have no real objection to anything anyone else will do. Until today ......

Today I ran across a picture that invaded my RSS aggregator and it grabbed my sensibilities by the neck and shook us damn near to the point of passing out. I don't know anybody in this picture and the is no real story behind it.

What it does is give me justification for opposing any stance for same sex marriage.

Ricky Williams donning a wedding dress was probably a cathartic and liberating experience for him, but it was staged to make the point that there would eventually be a divorce between Williams, Ditka, and the New Orleans Saints organization. This guy in the picture above sports the wedding dress in gayful bliss of the nuptials of spending a lifetime with his homey.

Not that there is anything WRONG with that.

What become so harsh is the fact that this guy makes for one of the most gruesome brides that I have ever seen - whether serious or staged.

I know that I had very little to do with making the wedding pictures that my wife and I share palatable. It was all her and she carried the photo shoot and made the pictures worthwhile.

So yes, as shallow as it may sound (and I have been known to be as deep as a thimble), I oppose same sex marriage because of the ugly wedding photos. Now some may say, 'Hold on, what about two women? That's art right?' Yes, they would be correct. Two women 'being' together late night on SkineMax is art. The union between Butch and the Lipstick is not art and the thought of Butch suiting up in a tux for the picture gives my stomach the same feeling I had when I wonder what Elvis saw in Peanut Butter, Banana, and Bacon Sandwiches.

Monday, March 20, 2006

.... And I Don't Mean That In A Good Way.

"You'se a Nigga and I don't mean that in a Good Way!!"
- Bernie Mack Impersonator, Intro
Kanye West, The College Dropout

As a matter of race, being the only, the first, or being associated as a pioneer for your people in you field is always a milestone that deserves some respect. Martin Luther King Jr. was not the first to speak about the oppression of people and the tyranny of the establishment - he wasn't even the first Martin Luther to do it, nor the first person of color. But he was first to declare that the system was wrong for black people and declared that he would protest and not strike back when struck upon (not my personal favorite philosophy, but hey ...).

History is wrought with the discarded carcasses of brothers down with the cause and giving their last breath to express their agenda. Every one of the members of the Black Panther Party that were part of the vanguard * were discredited and defamed within 15 years of the groups official disbanding. Bobby Seal was labeled a lunatic, Huey Newton, a crack-head, Eldridge Cleaver, Geronimo Pratt, jailed and so on. These were bright, young men who wanted better for their people and took seldom compromised stands in order to get the means to their end.

In this new era, The New World Order, how could we expect our revolutionary Negroes to remain the same as they have been? In today's time, gone is the sit-in approach. Even the Jesse Jackson Shake Down method has become passe and the establishment has found counter-measures.

From the world of NASCAR, this weekend came one of the most glaring examples of the New Negro attitude, and not from a twenty something, new to the ways of the world, trying to topple the status quo before he is thirty. But from a gentleman who has been around the block. Bill Lester had been a Hewlett-Packard engineer before leaving that behind to drive Craftman trucks. The forty something year old man has declared to everyone that would place a mic before him that they should stopped referring to him as a Black driver and stop making point that he is the third Black man to qualify for a NASCAR event. He is just a driver and wants to be noted as such.

Where have our pioneers gone? Where are those that proudly represented the race of the person they saw staring back at them every morning and only person that will be with them throughout all trials.

Bill, you are Black and in a venue dominated by those unlike you, you will stick out like an apple bottom. Be proud to represent your accomplishment as a Black man. Race like Hell and rejoice in the fact that you have not, by appearances at least, sold out. That makes you even Blacker and Stronger. I have not accomplished any first as a Black man in my profession, but often I go several days at the "mill" and not see another brother. I am looked at as a reference point to most things Black and new to White people at work. Lexicon for slang, rap music reference, and conscience for my race, I embody it all. But because the rest of the family rely on me to bring a check home, I can not truly show them how black I can be by cussin' their asses out of my office with that bullshit and slamming the door - knowing that the knob would cause irreparable damage to their spine because of the lack of ass to protect it.

But Bill and I nonewithstanding, there is an old time Black that has never gone away, but has had a image over-haul. The Uncle Tom or House Negro. Tom as he is known affectionately as in most ghetto's has been revamped. He used to only handle domestic affairs and never getting firsthand information from the big house. Now he is showcased, promoted, and put out front to show the general public that hand of the puppetmaster is not as uncomfortable as some would think. Claude Allen, Code Rice, and Colin Powell have been the most recent example. Embracing their employer and not taking a stand that would matter in the same communities that they come from. Putting themselves in position to be simmered down to a paste that is used as administration glue and nothing left to give afterward. Powell's hiatus after public service has been dogged by having to explain some crap that he was not down for in the first place. Conde Rice had to be removed from security service all together and she is still called to the carpet on who made the call that there were WMD's. But the saddest of the triumverate of Negro tools is Allen. He was so ambitious to be a political star that he completely sold 100% of his soul and now blames his brother for a series of petty crimes that eventually lead to his resignation.

So Bill all and all, embrace your Negritude. In the end, it's all you have sometimes and if you give it away, someone, somewhere will remind you that you are, what you are.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Public Service Announcement ....

I never admitted to being a fan, but the shows are interesting in it's content and general message. Friends say that the show is laugh out loud funny, but I have not been moved in such a manner (not even with laugh aids). There is humor at the "stick" that is poked at black people (the way we are, the things that we do, or say), but it is funny because of the common link (heard it, seen, said it). For your entertainment, Enjoy as much as I could find.

Episode One (Garden Party)

Episode Two (R. Kelly)

Episode Three (A Pimp Named Slickback)

Episode Four (Nigga Moments ...)

Episode Five (Don't Drop the Soap)

Episode Six (Gangstalicious)

Episode Seven (Christmas)

Episode Eight (Bitches ...)

Episode Nine (Return of the King)

Monday, January 09, 2006

How stupid can you be?

To those who much is given can a little common sense be expected?

Former Virginia Tech QB, Marcus Vick has found himself at odds with almost everything his lot in life has afforded him. Not to say that he has led his life into some morbid decline to which we have to watch like a bad wreck just to see the number of casualties that will be pulled out. Marcus has been extremely blessed by the proxy of his older brother, Ron Mexico.

Since taking the QB helm at Virginia Tech, Lil Mexico has been charged with:
  • Serving alcohol to minors,
  • Assault,
  • Possession of marijuana,
  • Speeding and driving on a suspended license,
  • and Brandishing a firearm.
This is not to mention his exploits during games, which include, but are not limited to:
  • shooting the bird at fans in W. Virginia,
  • and stomping Elvis Dumberville in his last game as a Hokie.
definitely not the behavior of a Mexico and I am sure Mama Mexico taught him better.
However these type things are in character with a spoiled kid. And so it is hard to imagine a youngster from Newport (Bad News) News, VA not understanding how to humble himself when there is a good deal on the line. It is hard to imagine the strongest hustler from Bad News not recognizing his surroundings and governing himself accordingly. It is hard to imagine, considering his background, that some system of self-check not being deployed.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

From the Speakerbox ...

I usually post when there are things so absurd that I feel I have to poke fun at it. Kicking someone when they are down takes more energy than most would think.

By the way, major shouts go out to those Texas Longhorns (did not have the nerve to take them on the straight up win for $1.70 on the dollar, but regardless I supported).

Former DC Mayor Marion "the *itch set me up" Berry was robbed at gunpoint by a group of adolescents that had just recently helped him carry his groceries into his DC apartment. Berry tipped the crew a ten spot and I guess they felt that wasn't enough and returned for more. Although there is so much material on Berry, all I can offer is these two bits of advice, either tip bigger or call a real estate agent. Obviously Marion did not bring it when duty called.

I have embarked on a nation-wide search for the right type of lady to comprise a new group that I am putting together. Relax P. Diddy, I am not looking to replace/compete with any of the no-talent girl groups that you are trying to put together. Although once I get my girls in place, I dare you to step into my arena. The girls that I am looking for must be willing to take no shorts. They must be able to recognize when those around them are bullshitting and take evasive action. These girls must be ready to take it to another level at any point. Recruitment has started and I have sent invitations to the following:
Mrs. Monica Conyers

Video: Monica Conyers hit me in the eye ….

Monica has it all together. She can run for council office in her fair city of Detroit and she can whip some ass when a drunken club patron gets in her grill. From published reports, Rebecca Mews (the assaulted) was kicking it at the Club Crossroads with her date celebrating her birthday when the urge to re-kindle old friendships rudely intervened. Ms. Mews’ date and Mrs. Conyers made their way to the dance floor. Now Mews was put off either because her date chose to dance with Conyers or maybe they were doing the lambada in the disco, but regardless, overcome with emotion she chose to break up the little reunion between the old friends. Usually this is when I try to advise against any sudden, rash decisions. Mews got between the two “friends” and the encounter became heated between her and Conyers, which lead to Conyers dotting that eye. This was a true example of a woman that knows how to bring it at the right time. She spotted an emotional wreck waiting to happen and took evasive action expediting Mews to the emotional breakdown she was most assuredly creeping toward.

Monica, if you get this post, call me. I got a mission for you.

My next invite, goes to Rhonnel Hearn.

Hearn may not be known to the common person, and that works to her advantage. You may be out there acting a fool and before you know it Rhonnel can creep up and guerilla warfare that a$$.
Mrs. Hearn was in the end zone seats at the game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Washington Redskins with her family in support of her son Redskins running back Clinton Portis. During the course of the game, after the ‘Skins had blown the game open using the halfback pass, a disgruntled Eagles fan decided to share their beer with Mrs. Hearn without passing the cup.

The doused Hearn found the culprit and gave her a bit of hand-to-mouth contact. Now just as in the case above, most people that get the short end of the stick was looking for it to a degree. Once you have thrown the beer, do not claim any ownership to said sailed beverage (See how the guy that hit Ron Artest pleaded innocence and even got a couple of shots in without getting hit). But I also, doubt that a woman would commit such a heinous act. If a woman is drinking beer, she does so because she has acquired a taste. Unlike most men that are just drinking because it is a conduit to a land of detached reality and feelings of euphoria. So I assert that a gentleman in the stands spotted the Hearn crew and in his drunken state of mind, threw his beer at them. Rhonnel turned to identify where the cool, refreshing drink came from and the gent let her know. Being a woman of action and one to be trifled with, she went up in the stands and punished his date for the sins that he committed. Lesson to be learned, ‘Don’t mess with a wild card’ or ‘When your date throws beer on a woman you don’t know, separate yourself from him.’

Now, I believe Hearn and Conyers could be a duo that would wreck any tag team of those wrestling girls, any two chicks from MTV’s Real World or Road Rules that would want to fight, or the two Destiny Child members that will need something to do after Beyonce does her bounce. But I need one more chick that will make it a trio and put us in the class of Charlie and his angels. Hmmmmm … A fiery, high profile chick that will box at the drop of a hat.

My final addition will be Naomi Campbell. Although she has not been in the news lately we all know she will put hands on an assistant with out a thought of her own safety.

It is always best to fight fire with fire, and so I would like to get this group of women together to combat all the other dysfunctional women out there in the world. All a dude would have to do is drop me a line if he wants to eradicate all female drama from his upcoming function. I can either post my “Don’t Trip *itch” team at the door or have them patrol the party and let them do what they do.