Monday, January 24, 2005 - Lawmaker says he shares homes with 2 women - Jan 24, 2005

Playaz gotta play, Ballaz gotta ball .... R. Kelly

From the files of "Why Could This Have Not Worked for Me"

State Senator John Ford, a Memphis Democrat, who has headed senate committees on the state's child welfare policies - has found a way to exercise the very margins of the laws that he created. Ford has been divorced since 2002, a bitter contest that led his ex-wife to crash her sedan into the home of his long time girlfriend.

Now if you want a full view of the scoreboard: Ex-wife - 3 kids, Long time girlfriend - 2. Ford has managed to stay out of the greedy clutches of CHSUP by maintaining two families and physically living in both houses. Label how you will, all I can say is "Now that is PIMP!".

Ford is free to traipse between two houses with no issues. Originally, I thought that the only way this could happen is if the good state representative either is living two lives on the DL or it is purely a financial thing and the women have agreed to let him sleep on the couch in either residence. Well, that thought quickly vanished after reading that the former Mrs. Ford is six months pregnant by Mr. Ford.

Damn It. How does this guy get away with it? Let me benefit off the sale of a Halloween Mars bar that one of my in-house kids pass over. The AG will swoop down so fast taking their cut that all you will see is two dimes spinning in the wind. In Texas they are so cold that they will charge interest on any back child support, but not necessarily pay out that interest amount collected.

Ford skirts the entire AG involvement by maintaining the households for both women and dropping in for a little nookie on the side. Yes, I said side nookie, because apparently Rep. Ford's lifestyle has come to question only because a third woman has a ten year old fathered by Ford. Skeezer #3 has sued Ford to increase the $500 per month that she receives from his $385K plus salary.

Ah, a chink in the chain, apparently Pimpy could not keep his skee-o's in check because this third person has not only won a suit charging that with an employee of then General Sessions Clerk Ford. She claims that while "ahem" working under Ford, she was sexually harassed and now has a ten year old son.

Mr. Ford, I just wanna know how I can be down with your program?

Friday, January 14, 2005

Pentagon reveals rejected chemical weapons - News | Print | New Scientist

Pentagon reveals rejected chemical weapons - News | Print | New Scientist

The Pentagon considered several non-lethal chemical weapon solutions to demoralize their foe and make raping their countries of their precious resources easier without the mess of blowing things up.

Some ideas that they have tossed around include:
- An "aphrodisiac" weapon
This weapon is designed to cause the enemy to find
one another irresistible. This has been commonly found
in most urban areas and known as the "bomb ass
pu$$y". It has been the down fall of many black men.
- A weapon that attracts angry wasp or rats to troop positions
The chemical weapons to attract pest is another
by-product of the continually product testing that
goes on in the hood. The pest list in the urban warfare
not only included wasp and rats, but babies mamas as
- A weapon that causes severe and lasting halitosis
This was a weapon that dealt a crushing blow to the
urban ballah that were subject to be caught out with
out the necessary equipment to freshen up. Commonly
referred to as the bomb a$$ weed, chronic, hydro, and
the list continues. And for those that refused to
inhale, there are Newports.
- And lastly, a weapon that make the skin unbearable to
Just when my Caucasian brothers and sisters thought
they were safe, this weapon was developed. Commonly
referred to as the sun, this weapon was designed to
make your pale a$$ peel and go running for the SPF-

So in essence, it is good to see that our nation is proactive about finding humane solutions to warfare and have found many of those right here in our home neighborhoods and communities.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Why Some Women Suffer from Self Esteem Issues ....

Ashlee Simpsons vocal malfunction

The article references the vocal assault that Ms. Simpson unleashed on the Orange Bowl crowd and viewing audience. How could a veritable no-talent could have the pull to command an Orange Bowl stage, the last college football game of the year.

Blame (I rarely cast blame and so I feel that when I do I have to be as accurate as possible, but I feel that this scenario is more than clear) can only be placed on Joe Simpson. Unlike another Joe (Jackson) who fashion his kids as the clydesdales that will power the gravy-train, Rev. Joe Simpson's train was rolling with the speed of a fat man toward Krispy Kreme when the red light comes on. Family beauty Jessica's star on the steady rise, the Simpsons were going to be taken care of. Ms. Lachey was pimping everything from pizza to acne creme, taking her ditzy act and Double D's to the bank (ching-ching).

So this atrocity in the Orange Bowl was not the affect of the good reverend thinking Ashlee was just as talented or a slight to Jessica's good fortune as if anyone could do what she does. I saw it coming a mile away. Younger, Ugly Duck of a sister believes that she was the one with the smarts while older sister got the looks. She probably thought that even more people would for her act because she has an edge. I saw the tear-filled conversation with daddy about how ugly she felt since Jessica has gotten all the press. A daddy who wants to make things right turned on the media machine that made one daughter. The same machine has mashed the other over that edge that she put so much thought into claiming.

Joe's crime is failure to parent via tossing cash at the problem. So what has occurred - the SNL lip syncing and now the halftime show where she was roundly booed (have you ever heard of anyone being booed anything but roundly). Disasters usually come in threes and we have experienced two so let's throttle back a bit before three begins to affect the ATM that you already have going. Overexposure can killed a career, ask Jessica's husband (ol' what his name). Or any of the latin singers that were just out a few years back. Or Kobe Bryant. Or, er .... you get my point.

Yahoo! News - Man Charged With Aiming Laser at Aircraft

David Banach originally lied to investigators when questioned about recent lasers that were reported shone into the cockpits of several planes and helicopters. Banach told the investigators that it was his daughter behind the laser attacks. When paced through a lie detector, it was proven that Banach was actually the culprit.