Monday, October 22, 2007

When the Magic is gone ....

When I first saw this story it took me back to the fateful day in '91, weeks before the NBA season was to tip. I was playing TechmoBowl with my boy JLove (I finally got the Giants D to stop Hershel Walker from getting to the corner) and we got the news that 'Magic' Johnson was retiring from the Lakers to deal with the HIV virus that he had contracted (speculation abound, suffices to say, I never looked at Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall the same way). The Magic was truly gone from the NBA that very day.

Back to present day, your boy D. Copperfield is getting hounded by the cops for ... well ... for being a magician. The allegation at hand is that Copperfield forced himself on an unidentified woman and therefore authorities have searched his magicians warehouse (secret hideout??) and the Las Vegas theater (secret lair??) in which he commonly does new tricks (hahaha .... check the double entendre!!! Does it count if I have to point it out??)

The trick ... ahem .... young lady launching these allegations refused to give details on how Copperfield came on to her, but describes different locations in which Dave tried the SnakeCharmer on her. Dave's manager was quoted as saying that Copperfield did not do this because he does not have to (I did not have to feel up Ms. Theopilous back in the 6th grade, but that sari did not cover everything and I was a sixth grader with raging hormones), but he does have a certain point. Magicians have an uncanny nack for creeping up on some of the most choice dime pieces. Copperfield had a six year relationship with super model Claudia Schiffer, recently Chris Angel managed to place Britney Spears under a spell (but reports state that Jack and Coca-Cola can not actually be counted as a potion).

Copperfield more than likely used the same powers that he used to convince audiences that he could make Lady Liberty disappear or when he walked through the Great Wall of China. The young lady can not really give a full account of what happened exactly, but when she finally came to her senses she noticed a lot of glitter on erogenous areas, a magic wand, top hat w/ rabbit, and a cape stuck to her back (Copperfield supermanned that oooohhhhhh!!!!!).

So just like Magic Johnson, Copperfield will be back from this to mesmerize us with that thousand mile stare and elevator music. But if you are a hot chick and find yourself around Dave don't look him in the eyes.