Thursday, June 16, 2005

Watch your hands and mouth ...

Today, I realized the power of words - Verbal as well as written. I hurt a dudes feelings. A grown man!!!! I had to give that one a WOW. I have often caused females discomfort by the things that I have said and sometimes the things that I have not said, but never a dude. This no badge of honor for me, although I have no regrets, I wish I would have stayed closer to form and considered whether I was dealing with a fragile ego. He said that I got personal with him and that is probably true, but I always thought that you had to actually know something about that person personally, and I don't. What I said were facts, but nothing about the core of the man except for the fact that he misrepresented himself. I later found out how hurt he was when he replied to my fact with some documents that would have substantiated his story, other than the fact that the documents themselves were shady. I did not have the heart to refute them because that could have possibly triggered a psychotic episode - Tears are as far as I could take it. I hate to see a grown man cry.

I take caution in saying who I am and what I have done for this simple reason. You never know who has access to your books. Privacy is not always as private as you would like. Stating what type of person you are inevitably results in your nature betraying you (unless you are a monk and even they struggle). See any the catholic priest that have had charges brought against them, Jesse Jackson, etc. I feel that is important in living a regret free life. Stating who you are is often a slippery slope because you have to certainly know what separates your true personality from the part(role) that you portray. Again, Jesse, the priest, and others. These are often different entities and the more you go without syncing them the further apart they become. And lastly, never attribute your own accolades. Nothing rings truer than proof. If you say you have done it, make sure that if anyone going to check there is evidence, at least traces. See, any coach that has lost a job for mis-stating facts in their bios, Reggie Fowler, Lena Guererro, etc.

Who am I?

I am a simple dude that has managed to become a subject matter expert in my field (Software Quality Assurance Engineering), but I worked to gain that level of expertise to allow my wife and seeds to have the lives they want. I find pleasure in that for the moment. Someday, maybe I will be published, we will see. But I am not defined by plaques, ribbons, certificates, and the like. If I think that I am a decent person and can show that to people around me. I'm good. And my next step towards being decent is to watch what I say to the fragile for they have feelings too.